Hollywood or Reality TV Marriages….
I often wondered why Hollywood marriages seemed to end as quickly as they start. I wondered as we are so often lead to believe with all that money what would cause their marriages to fail. I soon found out that every marriage fails into areas of struggle that must be healed. I found out, through watching a score heal, that healing is better when the affected area is allowed the time that is need to heal. Think about the bandage commercials that we have all seen the sore that is left uncovered not only never heals correctly but it has a very high probability of becoming infected. I guess you are saying what does a Band-Aid commercial have to do with marriage? Well here is how I see it a Band-Aid will cover and protect a sore while it is healing. First understand that the sore has been wash and medicated before the bandage is applied and after the right amount of attention is applied to the wound it is covered and healing is left to do its work. Along the way love will check on the progress of the healing and give any needed attention to the area. As a parent I don’t just cover my child’s wound with a bandage and forget about I monitor and make any adjustments that are needed. But the true healing takes place within away from the light, away from dirty hands, and away from prying eyes which may bring judgment from others.
So here is how I see the Hollywood or reality TV marriage, think about the shows that have been on television in the last two years. The Real Housewives, Jon and Kate and Little People Big World, just these three shows, the Real Housewives have Orange County with 2 divorces on record since the show started, one guy that has been in relationship with three of the housewives, two marriages in deep trouble and very close to being over and 1 engagement that ended in death. Of the other two housewives, one has left the show and seems to have the strongest marriage because their marriage covering/bandage is allowed to cover up and heal their issues outside and away from light, away from dirty hands, and away from prying eyes which may bring judgment from others. The other and newest housewives seem to have a husband that is now being called controlling, for her their marriage relationship was probably very good but once others are allowed to question you, judge you and cast doubt into about your relationship your bandage may start to not stick as much as it use to.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta only has one housewife left. The two marriages that seemed the strongest during the first year of the show are not ending in divorce. One wife in divorce left the show after one year but maybe that one year should have been used to focus on her marriage and family so that divorce would not be her reality. These two marriages looked strong and healthy and now every detail of what should be a private item is being spread across newspapers and radio shows. Only one of the remaining four housewives is married and hopefully she will be able to keep the bandage on any sores/issues that may be in need of healing. Lisa work hard to keep your marriage covered protected and out of harm’s way. The camera not only adds ten pounds it also magnifies issues. Of the three not married another engaged couple called it off and shortly after the husband to be loss is life. Another of these unmarried housewives is trying her best to become a housewife by ending another marriage to do it. Healthy, strong marriages are truly not the goal of the producers of these shows.
The Real Housewives of NY and New Jersey are also going through on the marriage front. One divorce so far on NY and one on New Jersey may be close. The only good news to date is that one of the “housewives” got married and had a baby hopefully the pressure of the cameras will not destroy this union and family before they can even form. Rooting for the NY couples they have some time attached to their marriages and seem mature but lights for the camera may have a way of uncovering things. New Jersey has a lot of public business and the marriage of a couple with four girls may not survive.
The Real Housewives of DC is still left to be seen but I don’t think that the statistics can be ignored regarding reality TV and marriage. Jon and Kate ended in divorce how do you dissolve a marriage that produces eight children what does your actions do to them. Cameras allowed people to see you and your marriage and magnify your issues in your mind. Little People Big World who have overcame issues in their health and life that most of us would consider not fair and not a life that we would want to live but they make it work until reality TV. This marriage is in a place of trouble issues that may have looked a certain way is now being shown through the eyes of others. We are rooting for you guys. Please work on your sore/issue cover it up from dirty hands and prying eyes and give it time to heal before making any permanent decisions.
Life is hard enough without any outside influences. Marriage is a job and most of us in the privacy of our marriage and homes allow things to be forgiven through love and accountability that some may not understand. We weigh our marriage against our values and against what we as both an individual and couple feel is best for us and the marriage relationship. This is as individual as the parties that are in the relationship and should not be judged by anyone that we do not invite into the issue to access and give wise counsel.
Now, before you all say how is it that this brother knows a whole lot about these housewives show….I’m happily/healthy married to my wife for a reason and not just a season or two. But for the rest of my LIFE….until death do us part. Plus my wife ask me watch them with her…I have a lot of points to the good for the times when I mess up.
"Either you deal with what is the reality or you can be sure that the reality is going to deal with you." – Alex Haley
In Pursuit of Greatness, Together!
~Marcus n Gloria
Commissioned – Ordinary Just Won’t Do…..For A Healthy Marriage©! ♥♥
Copyright © 2010, Marcus & Gloria Whyte 23. All rights reserved.