May Day Man Hit, Down But Not Out...

T he day a man loses his job is among the most stressful of his life. Sudden unemployment can turn a man’s world upside down, influencing every aspect of his life, including his relationship. Even the sturdiest of romantic bonds can be shaken when a man finds himself among the jobless. The stress caused by unemployment can eat away at a relationship like cancer. And though every guy hopes that his partner will actually help him weather the storm of unemployment, it’s also not uncommon for a guy to feel that having another person to worry about, and another stressed out individual in the house, just makes matters worse. Seeing how the economy is still in the tank, we suspect more than a few guys out there are wondering how to handle unemployment and relationships, so we’ve put together this list of strategies to help men get through this difficult chapter in their lives.

Don’t mope.....
Losing your job can be a devastating experience. Anger, fear and nervousness are natural responses, and it’s OK to give in to those emotions -- for a while. It’s fine to be upset, and she’ll probably be understanding, but a day or two of moping is pretty much all you’re allowed. You need to start planning your next move and looking for a new job, not wallowing around your apartment in your sweats.

Sitting around the house and moping (leave the game station alone) about your unemployment won’t do either of you any good. So get your act together as quickly as possible. You can’t expect her to stand by while you spend the next four weeks bitching and moaning about your life being over. If, after a couple of weeks, you still feel like you need to talk to somebody about your luckless life, seek out a friend, at least periodically, so that your girlfriend doesn’t have to hear your moping all day, every day.

Leave with her in the morning.....
Just because you aren’t going in to the office anymore doesn’t mean you’re on vacation. It’s crucial that you stick to a schedule. Try waking up at the usual time and leaving with her in the morning. Simply getting out of the house will keep you motivated and increase your productivity. It will also help you retain some semblance of normalcy in your relationship.

Instead of searching the job listings from home, get out of the house and head for a nearby coffee shop. Arrange to meet contacts for lunch (count pennies if you have to) so you can let everyone know you’re on the market. Treat looking for a job like a full-time job; that’s the clearest path back to the workforce.

Schedule time outside.....
Just as you should leave with her in the morning, you should also make sure that you’re not always waiting for her when she gets home. Let’s say you spend all day every day looking for a new gig, scouring the web and calling colleagues from your apartment. Then, at around 4:30 p.m., you quit for the day and turn on the TV. What do you think she’s going to think when she arrives home from work and finds you sprawled out on the couch? Perception matters. If you look like you’re relaxing at home every time she walks through the door, she’s going to think you’re slacking off, even if you aren’t. Do yourself a favor and schedule some time outside, especially late in the afternoons.

Accept her help.....
When you lose your job it’s easy to get defensive (drop your pride not your dignity). Even if your unemployment is the result of global economic trends and has nothing to do with your personal performance, it’s hard not to think of unemployment as a reflection of your ability. Consequently, you might be uptight about accepting her help as you look for a new job. But here’s the deal: you need to get over it. Accepting her help, whether she’s providing you with a lead on a job or critiquing your resume, will turn a potentially destructive situation into a constructive one. You’ll be working together to solve a problem, instead of fighting about the problem.

Make dinner (be creative).....
It’s a small thing, but significant. Making dinner is a great way to pull your weight in a relationship while you’re in between jobs. If she’s become the primary breadwinner in your relationship, the least you can do is make a meal every now and then. It’s common courtesy, and it will show her that you’re willing to put a little extra effort into the relationship when you’ve got some time to spare.


Better days ahead....
Unemployment and relationships are a troublesome mix. It’s not uncommon for a guy to find himself in love and out of work at the same time. Manage the situation correctly and your relationship will be a source of support, not added stress.

And you can believe that!

Thank you for Reading

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